It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
