Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
