I can text with my tongue
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
