does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
