Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
