Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
