Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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