I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
