we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
