We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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