Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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