i think my tv is drunk
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
