I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
