she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
