Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
