I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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