So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
