Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
