like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
