there was a trapeze. enough said
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
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We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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