Christians are straight up FREAKS
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
