UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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