Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
