i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
