farters have to be the big spoon...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
