We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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