Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
