Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
