I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
