nut hugger
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
