I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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