What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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