I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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