What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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