My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
