Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
