His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
