This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
