just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
