I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I am mentally ready for anal.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
