Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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