Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
