...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
