it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize