i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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