Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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