remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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