Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
