So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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