Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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