she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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