farters have to be the big spoon...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize