I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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