is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
