Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
