Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
