I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
