she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
