We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
