She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
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