can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Randomize
